Tapi tidak hanya itu. Spirit dari Natal sendiri somehow influence my mind throughout the season. It brings you joyous holiday excitement, some romantic and melancholic feeling (whew.. agak ribet ya..). But it's true..at least for me.
Romantic? Yes.. Mungkin karena dari kecil saya sering menonton film-film natal yang genrenya romantic comedy (well what can I say.. agak jarang kan film Natal yang bertema horror or action or sci-fi) dan biasanya berakhir dengan bahagia. Actually I even think that Christmas is more romantic than Valentine. I have a little secret that someday.. just someday, I can go busy shopping for my Christmas present to my boyfriend, decorating Christmas tree, then have a romantic candle light dinner just the two of us on Christmas eve. Stay up late chatting and enjoying some nice beers (or wine, eggnog ..or even cup of tea/coffee.. well whatever..) at home and wake up in the morning beside him to surprise and be surprised with our Christmas present. Ah.. a man can dream.. haha..
Melancholic.. Maybe because this holiday is some kind of irony for me. You see, at Christmas you supposedly spend it with people that you love. People that close to your heart, Loving ones where you feel most comfortable with. And yet... if you're not that close with your family, you want to spend it with other people that you consider family. Not always by blood, but more into emotional attachment between you and that person. It could be your boyfriend, best-friends, etc. But when you're single, not too close with your family (why.. well.. we'll have some other time to talk about it) and your besties are not available... The spirit of Christmas becomes ironic to you.
Yesterday, my office just announced that we'll have year end holiday for TEN days..! I was surprised, happy but also freaking out. Ten days without any real good plan, knowing where to go or whom can I go with. In fact it's still give me creeps to think about it just now. What's wrong with me.. I supposed to be happy and excited instead of freaking out like this. I don't know bout you guys, but some might will enjoy holiday without doing nothing, alone and all. But it's just not me. Having a Christmas celebration and New Years Eve party with strangers or people whom you don't really excited to go with I guess sucks because for me, The most important thing in any Holiday is with who, the rest are just attribute. I learn now that family, boyfriend or friends are sooo damn important in this situation, so get one! Make friends as many as you can get throughout the year.. find a date or even a boyfriend at least several months before Holiday season.. and make plans as early as you can.. hahaha.. so you won't end up don't know what you will do in this precious holiday.... alone...
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is... You
-Mariah Carey-
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