I've been single for almost a month now. Well I must admit, I've been better honestly but, turns out being single (again) is not as horrible as I thought it would be. These time of days, I'm kinda figuring out what is it like to be single at my age. Well.. apparently this is not my first time for being single. I've been single like a lots from time to time and I notice there's something change in time of period. Well.. FYI, here's my situation. I'm soon to be 29 years old this year, kinda new in the city and not living with my parents.
Being single at my age.. Yes, it would be kinda hard to imagine a regular-relaxing-fun-for-single-guy activity in weekend (haha..). Jalan-jalan, belanja, nonton sendirian? hmm..might fun for couple weeks, but if it keep continue that way, do you think it'll still be fun? I can't say it goes for all of us. Cos, yeah we still have friends, even better other single friends, etc. But when you're 28, how many new friends you made and becoming close to you in this past year?
When we were in high school, college or even working as a first jobber, usually we went out as groups. Ingatkah kita masa-masa dimana kita suka memesan ke mbak-mbak XXI (dulu Blitz blum ada jaman saya waktu itu haha) tiket nonton untuk satu row full karena kita selalu hang out ramai-ramai? Atau mungkin berkonvoi ria ke luar kota dan menikmati weekend bersama teman-teman? Then as you grow older, teman-teman kita mulai saling memisahkan diri dan bergabung dengan pasangan-pasangannya masing-masing untuk "quality time" dan kita mulai agak kelabakan mencari mereka. Memang bukan berarti hang out bersama group menjadi mutlak hilang, namun frekuensinya tentu tidak seperti dahulu. We can no longer count on to our friends to spend the weekend together. The worst case is you become the "plus one", means that you hang out with your friend and his/her dates and you become the "plus". Kinda sucks right if it happens all the time? haha..
You might wanna think to find some regular activities for your weekend. When I share my current situation to my best friend, she said, "Go find some activities, take a course..umm..French Class? Join some Hobby Club". Saya sebenarnya cukup setuju dengan ide-ide semacam ini, walaupun sebenarnya saya ragu, apakah hal ini bisa benar-benar menyelesaikan masalah saya. You see, the thought of knowing that in weekend somewhere out there people are like going out with their dates, giving a chance for their love luck while you're stuck in a class learning French language.. well those Bonjour, J'taime and all doesn't sound sexy anymore right? Walaupun di satu sisi, bisa jadi juga kita somehow bertemu dengan calon pasangan kita di tempat-tempat tersebut.
Well the point is maybe how you deal with the loneliness. Not physically, but more into into your mind consciousness. Practically, weekend terkadang menjadi sebuah dilema. Di satu sisi kita senang harus lepas dari rutinitas pekerjaan yang membuat stress. Namun di sisi lain, muncul kengerian akan apa yang bakal kita alami ketika weekend. Jari-jari mulai gatal untuk me-message orang-orang baik sesama teman jomblo ataupun list gebetan kita, sehingga kita tidak sendirian ketika weekend. Actually we might don't have any problem spending time alone during weekend. But spending it with lonely feeling. That's what's killing.. at least in my case.
I could find so many other excuses and blame my current situation to make me keep being single now, but it's kinda unfair don't you think? However, being 28 and single, well you can do lots of things you might couldn't back when you were young. Traveling to whenever you want with your own money without needing your parents approval. Buying stuffs like you couldn't afford before and many other things we can do when we are a grown ups and single. After all, every situation has two sides of a coin right? (but still.. just feel free to bitch about it in the comment box below haha...)
So, in the mean time, mungkin saya hanya ingin membuka segala kemungkinan yang terjadi dalam kehidupan saya saat ini. Being single or not actually is only part of the process that should happen in my life. I won't deny that it sucks and sometimes frustrating. I don't want to lose hope too, cos deep inside I do believe that someday somewhere along the way I might have someone for me whom I can love and be loved. But if the obsession is getting annoying and stressful in daily basis (and that includes every weekend for the rest of the year), do you think it's still worth it?
Somewhere along the way when I write this post, I found this quote which kinda motivate me not to let down for being single at the moment "I don't need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves." - Shirley MacLaine
Have a great night you..